How Mediation Works
Freedom of choice is basic to the mediation process.
 The Three Steps:
Step 1 - We Talk: We talk in
person, over the phone, or e-mail. If we believe that mediation
is advisable, then the other parties are contacted.
Step 2 - We Meet: Individual
meetings, in person, are conducted with each of the parties
involved, usually for about an hour each, in the same place as
will be used for the mediation. We often use one or more rooms
at the top of an office tower at Yonge and Dundas in downtown
Toronto. It’s at the north end of the Eaton Centre and is easy
to get to, and it’s friendly and comfortable. A secretary,
Internet, photocopies, refreshments and whatever else we need is
available.
 This meeting is called the Case Development, and it’s an
opportunity for you to explain your experiences, needs and
hopes. The mediation process will also be explained, and the
role of the mediator as third-party neutral. At this time we
also discuss the kind of agreement which may be reached at the
end of the mediation, and the legal status of this Memorandum of
Agreement. You have choices.
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Step 3 - We Mediate: We
all meet together, for two or three hours, for the mediation. It
is tiring, but amazingly productive. Having all come to this
point, you have come a long way toward transforming the problem,
and resolving it. A second meeting is very common. Sometimes
it’s just necessary to have a time to consider the outcomes, and
then a few days later to meet briefly to finalize.
 It is not usually advisable to bring lawyers or social
workers, but it’s possible. They must agree to remain in a
secondary role, advising you but not speaking for you. What is
fairly common, is for the parties at the conclusion of the
mediation to write their own Memorandum of Agreement, and later
take it to their lawyers. But you don’t need a lawyer to have a
satisfactory resolution.
What does it cost? I’ll give you an estimate before you
make any commitment and if either party decides during our first
meeting that they do not wish to go ahead, there is no charge.
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It’s no wonder that mediation is an increasingly popular
alternative to the legal system.
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